The Lost Files

Film photography has always been a very private endeavor for me… so much so that I’ve truthfully never shared the breadth of my 35mm work on my Instagram account or my portfolio. And yet I collected hundreds of photographs over the years from unlikely spaces where I felt my DSLR would intrude.

Finding the balance between being human and being an artist has always been difficult for me, especially when my best art is innately human. It’s an odd paradox because they seem to require and repel one another at the same time. How can I create without disrupting the lives of those who inadvertently become my subjects? How can I live a life for myself that is separate from creation for mass consumption?

I have not found an answer to these concerns with digital photography but with film, I have been able to shatter the wall between myself and my subject. I see each developed image and I am instantly transported back to a particular moment. Maybe that’s why I held onto them for so long? I wanted to cherish these special times for myself without anyone judging them for their artistic merit. Each of these photographs comes with their imperfections and I embrace them for it.

What I am trying to say is that being an artist, or wanting to become one I guess, has come with a lot of existential dread about everything I do and how I flow through this life. Sometimes, I just need to let go and do something for the pure fun of it. That, for me, is film photography.

“The Lost Files,” is an ode to the feeling of release. It is composed of images from Fall 2017 through Summer 2020, shot on various film cameras. I edited the compilation in this way so that certain moments would feel fleeting while others would compound, similar to the way I process memory and time.

Enjoy and sending love always.

Song: “There Was Plenty Time Before Us” by Deem Spencer